Calvin Harris will sue you if you say he got a happy-ending massage, bye bye

Weeks ago, a photo agency offered up some exclusive photos of Calvin Harris entering a Thai massage parlor in LA. Gawker did some analysis of the place and from what they could tell, it was a totally legitimate massage parlor, not some sketchy rub-and-tug joint. Still, I guess Calvin Harris thought the photos looked bad, because many sites ended up taking down the photos after they had been published.

Skip ahead to this past weekend, which is when the British tabloids began claiming that Taylor Swift was enraged at the sight of her boyfriend entering a massage parlor. So enraged, in fact, that she dumped him. Except that didn’t happen – People Magazine’s sources (Calvin and Taylor) assured everyone last night that “They are happy and going strong.” I believe People Magazine. Not that I think Calvin and Swifty are going to be together forever and candy and sparkleponies and TRUE LOVE. I just think that when Swifty and Calvin do break up, it’s going to be epic and we’re going to know about it immediately and it won’t come from some sketchy British tabloid.

As for the massage parlor stuff, Calvin tweeted this:

It's not going to be a 'happy ending' for everyone I sue for defamation of character for all these bullshit stories bye bye

— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 12, 2015

He sounds… tense. It’s been said that Calvin and Taylor are sort of perfect for each other because they’re similarly successful and similarly melodramatic. Which I think you can see for yourself. I’m also going to wager that they’re very similar in how they obsessively control their images.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

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